24 Lessons I Have Learned at 24

I am turning 25 this January (aka going through a quarter life crisis). To be honest, I go through an existential crisis practically everyday so this is no particular milestone. I created this post because I thought it would be neat to do some introspection and articulate some of the many lessons I have learned over my short lifespan. Alternatively, I might have also had the ulterior motive of telling people my age, as the majority of people I meet think I am 16 years old. At any rate, here is a list of what I consider to be useful information - lessons I wish someone had told me when I was younger.

[1] Introspection is a very valuable tool. I would argue that it is a catalyst for personal and professional development. I was tasked with an assignment as a psychology student when I was 22. I took a class, and my professor gave us the opportunity to write an autobiography in order to analyze our interactions with those closest to us and to further underscore how those interactions have shaped who we are as people today. At the time, it was one of the most challenging assignments I ever had to undergo. It meant I had to contemplate and consider my resentment, which is a tough issue to grapple with. I would argue that this deep level of introspection has added so much utility to my life as it allowed me to see my world from a different perspective. I strongly encourage if you ever feel confused about why you are feeling a certain way, or if you feel anxious about something- try the exercise of evaluating your life according to your interactions with people and jot it all down, even if it isn't pretty.

[2] A great amount of people in grad school will heavily pride themselves on being overly sceptical- to the point where there is barely any utility in that level of criticism. Though I am biased, and have only my experiences to account for, I felt that my graduate experience revolved around people who were poised to be offended by things and poised to be extremely negative. There is a difference between being a) overly sceptical and bashing all structures and institutions and b) being a critical thinker who has the ability to play devil's advocate and maintain a balanced perspective. The former is not constructive if it does not accompany any proposed solutions to complex issues. It is clear that ignorance and resentment has the potential to undermine our claims most of the time.

[3] Active listeners seem to be pretty rare to come by, however when you do engage in a conversation with an active listener your appreciation will skyrocket. Also, learn from them.

[4] By being too agreeable, you simultaneously give up your ability to negotiate for yourself. I have been guilty of being too agreeable all of my life. I have been brought up to be polite, and I have learned to avoid conflict at all cost. Though there are perceived benefits of being an agreeable person, it has made be build up an unhealthy level of resentment for things I could not comprehend later on.

[5] Cutting your own bangs/fringe will never turn out well. Just don't do it. Go to a professional. Trust me, you will thank me later. Refer to the following image.

[6] Truth is a valuable commodity in the world we live in. But what is truth? Oh the mind wanders...

[7] People will not take responsibility for the things that they do not accept. This is problematic on both a micro and macro level. Think about it from individual cases of childhood neglect to crimes against humanity. In my opinion, I find that the greatest contributor to the evil we experience in the world comes down to humans rationalizing their lack of responsibility to a proposed problem. You would be surprised how many people who do not take responsibility for the resentment that they accrue that they end up rationalizing their actions or lack thereof. I am by no means 'holier than thou', or professing to be some saint, but I live my life by the philosophy that although you as an individual may not be directly or explicitly involved in a problem per se, we still nonetheless have an ethical obligation as human beings to alleviate other people's suffering. I find that there is something so empowering and transformative when we are able to take on a degree of suffering voluntarily and when we decide to confront our inner demons.

[8] It is important to be goal-oriented, but when you become so fixated on the final outcome, you lose sight of the process itself (aka the fun part). It is important to enjoy the process of said goal because WHEN you achieve it, you will be further asking yourself "what's next?". It's good to have goals, just make sure you also live for the present so you get to enjoy them.

[9] Fashion is an outlet for people to express their creativity, however it is important to be weary that the fast fashion industry contributes to so much waste, in addition to contributing to unethical working conditions. Try your best to invest in sustainable pieces, and make informed decisions when purchasing a product. Try buying second-hand, and go for products/brands that aim for a better ethical and environmental footprint.

[10] When you start to view the world as a set of interconnected processes and networks, you can start to appreciate how much of an impact you actually have in contributing to those processes and networks. Identify your role in that, then slay and repeat.

[11] Falling into the trap of tagging people in memes on Facebook and Instagram before an assignment with a close deadline is approaching will never go down well. But you will have one hell of a laugh in the interim. It's all about balance.

[12] Maintaining good gut health is vital for your overall functioning and well-being. The gut is extremely underrated. Your gut is the real MVP.

[13] Creating a schedule and planning will help you more than you know in the time-management sphere. Start by waking up at the same time everyday and going to bed at roughly the same time in order to adjust your circadian rhythm. Then plan your day ahead of time and what you would ideally like to accomplish. What does your ideal day look like? There is going to be a certain ratio of responsibilities we have to take on regardless (e.g. school, work, volunteer, etc.). Then add the things you enjoy doing to make your day more bearable. We are creatures of habit, therefore we are what we continue to do. This is where routines can be quite powerful. What has personally helped me was treating my time as if I am my own boss as well as an employee simultaneously. This is a depersonalization exercise that has served to be quite useful for me to get my act together. If you think about each hour according to your salary, you will be able to quickly quantify how much time you are wasting, so try not to make the mistake of firing yourself.

[14] Never go grocery shopping while hungry (especially not at Costco - that is a double whammy). Just as a rule of thumb, try not to get too hungry to the point where you will make poor food decisions. Talk about first world problems eh.

[15] Creating a sense of community wherever you are established can be quite powerful, for better or for worse. In many ways it is an amalgamation of like-minded people convened in a common space. In other ways it can be a dangerous situation when like-minded people contribute to a community of ongoing suffering. Again, identify your role in that. We are social creatures, connect with others where and when you can.

[16] There is no such thing as using too many hashtags on Instagram. C'mon, it's Instagram for goodness sake. If you really want to up the ante, just start using hashtags in real life conversations and see how people react. From lived experience, people think I am weird when I use hashtags in conversation - again I am actively working on not being socially awkward... refer to next point.

[17] It is best to just embrace being a nerdy, awkward human than trying to suppress it. It tends to backfire most of the time. Just accept it. If you're lucky, some people might even find it endearing.

[18] Traveling puts things into perspective. It takes you out of your comfort zone, your routines and your 'regular' environment. Traveling with others also puts your relationship with said individuals into perspective. Also, pack light.

[19] You can be so engaged in attempting to solve a problem that you end up justifying why the problem exists in the first place. When you are heavily invested in something- whether its a theory, whether its financial stocks, whether its a matter of faith, you can sometimes be blindsided by your own inherent biases that is becomes problematic when you start aggressively denying it. Haven't you ever noticed that the people who deny their faults/errors usually have an ulterior motive? That's what I thought...

[20] You never really know someone until you really know someone. Due to the fact that we live in an age where everyone's life seems to be constructed in the most aesthetically pleasing way, we don't really know people. Sometimes going the extra mile to go for a drink with a coworker after work, or actively listening when someone is feeling vulnerable can really help in that regard. The amount of people I have met who seem to have the most desired life on social media actually may be suffering with a host of mental health issues, or are perhaps grieving over the loss of a loved one, and/or are unhappy with their current circumstances. It goes back to what I was saying earlier - we all encounter varying degrees of suffering. Part of acknowledging that comes with accepting that nobody's life is perfect even if their profile picture is.

[21] Do not squelch your peculiar individuality, rather aim above the mundane by cultivating a lifestyle of excellence (how you may define excellence is up to your individual discretion). You do not need to accept the saying "it is what it is". You are so much more than that.

[22] When you are older, you will realize that the patience and sensitization to the childhood adversity you experienced growing up has provided you with a toolkit, granting you the ability to regulate your emotions better than others. That is a strength you can't really teach people.

[23] There is a difference between getting a degree and getting an education. Though they both may teach you valuable life lessons, the latter requires a certain degree of intrinsic motivation. Some of the most intelligent people I know have not gone to university and possess a type of knowledge that is hard to articulate.

[24] It is beyond human comprehension what people order at Starbucks. The other day I overheard a guy asking for a " Grande white hot chocolate - no foam, no whip, a shot of espresso, praline sprinkles, extra hot". Do not ever fall into that camp of individuals (food intolerances don't count).